I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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