He is such a slut. More and more my type.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize