So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
