? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
