Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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