You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
