Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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