whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
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