I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
