he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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