My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
