how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
