My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize