She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Randomize
