i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
