I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
