Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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