as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
