I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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