But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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