he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
