Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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