i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
