even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
There r osticjed everywhere
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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