I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
