At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
ugly people sure do ruin things
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
