I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize