Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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