So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize
