i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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