why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
