Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize