I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
