How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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