I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize