Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
