Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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