Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Just high enough for therapy.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
