I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
