Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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