They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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