Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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