He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
