I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I need a beard to bite.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
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