I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
