I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize