Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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