your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
