But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
