Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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