I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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