How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I AM VODKA MAN
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
