super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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