last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
