no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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