oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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