Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
