My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
