So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize