i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
