i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
So here I am, sexting at work.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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