i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
