Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
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