6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
