Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
