Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
