it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
