Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
