So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm bleeding and have questions
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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