then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
