One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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