the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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