I hate your face
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Come on in and take your pants off
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